On the Trail with a Tail and a Half

Well, my furriends, it's the blog post you've been waiting for. I had to wait fur my mom to set the computer up fur me. Cats do not have thumbs. Furtunately, thumbs are not a purrequisite for typing.

So here's what happened. Furrst, my mom and dad put us in kitty purrgatory in the form of these here boxes just on the other side of the gates of hell. They tried to soften the blow with quilts, but it didn't help. Not one little bit.

I told my furriend, Sadie, "Sadie, let's purr we're in a furtune cookie factory. We could send out one of those messages inside a cookie that says, 'Help! We're being held purrisoner in a furtune cookie factory!" Yeah, if only it were that simple. When they furrnally let us out of those infurrnal contraptions. Whoa.

Whoa, Smitty! Where are we?

I don't know, Sadie, but I think it's safe to say we're not in Kansas any more.

Wait a minute, Smitty...let me see. Whooooooaaaaaa...

You have more expurrience in these situations. What should we do, Smitty?

I don't know, Sadie. Let me sit here on this chair fur just a minute and think.

Or maybe I can see things more clearly from this table.

Okay, Smitty, but while you're figuring it out, I'm just gonna slip into this hidey hole at the end of the bed. Let me know when you've worked out a strategy.

Okay, well, I do my best thinking on a quilt. This one should do.

Hm...nothing's coming to me. I might need to turn on my lasers in order to furmulate any conclusions about this purrplexing purrsition in which we find ourselves.

Or, maybe I just need a bigger quilt. Yes, this should do nicely. Thank goodness they brought some quilts.

Okay, well, here's the thing, Sadie. Furst things furst. We need to know where the potty box is, and I found in in here.

Oh, let me see, Smitty. Let's just look it over. 

This is my area of expurrtise, so just let me purrform a complete inspection. It seems to be sturdily constructed.

As with all things, the purroof is in the pudding.

By that, I mean, the pudding of something in the box to see if it leaks.

It's okay, Smitty. It seems to be functioning purrfectly.

Oh, and lookie here. I found where they store the kitty treats! 

Look over here, Sadie. I found the closet!

Oh, wow. This requires my purrsonal inspection.

Hey, Smitty. Did you ever notice how our dad's wardrobe consists of 50 shades of gray, but our mom's is red hot! Weird, huh?

And here's something else, Smitty. It's our launch pad! We can go charging through here at 4:30 a.m. and launch ourselves off this ledge. That oughta wake 'em up.

Thankfully, they've installed a ballet barre. I can purractice my plies here.

And there are plenty of quilts for excellent napping.

Yes, Sadie, and thank goodness they brought their laps along. A quilt without a lap is not worth much.

And leashes, because a cat's gotta get outside and clear the area of squirrels, bunnies, and chipmunks.

Purrsonally, I purrfur clearing away the birds.

Wait, did someone mention birds? I see some out there right now.

Well, I think we have our work cut out for us, Sadie. It's time to get down to cat business...smelling the air for woofies,

ridding the area of kitty treats,

and our ongoing punctuating of the area with cat fuzz. Here, notice our excellent demonstration of kitty purrentheses.

Sometimes, though, all you need in the way of punctuation is a purriod. With that in mind, let me say this:

The End.