4/21/14

Unexpected Delivery

Okay, so the day started out normal enough...given that it's my house, "normal" is always a relative term. I drank my usual gallon of coffee, read my email, checked in on Facebook, ate some breakfast, worked on my stitchery. Then, I headed out to check on the annuals that I repotted yesterday. They were looking a little sad from getting too dry, but they'd perked up today, just as I knew they would.


I gave the blue jays some peanuts, and then I checked in on the lettuce. Finally, it is germinating. Only the red leaf is visible, and only four of the five seeds I planted, but it's a welcome sight. From years past, I recall that the lettuce has been surprisingly slow to germinate. Now I have hope, even if I don't yet have enough for a salad...or a hamburger...or anything.


And everybody else is looking good too.


While I was out there, I took note of a bird that was scolding me to beat the band. I looked up to see what all the fuss was about. Not surprisingly, I found this little intruder on the roof, no doubt causing great consternation to the bird.


It was a Zumba day, and I can't even begin to describe the ways in which I dragged my feet getting out the door. Since my goal is to exercise four times per week, and I now have five activities per week scheduled on my dance card, I promised myself I could skip Wednesday's Zumba class if I promised to go swimming on Tuesday and Thursday. Of course, Sue and I will do our regular walk on Friday. Such is my commitment to exercise. I'll admit that Zumba gets easier and easier, and today I actually added a little hop to some of my steps, and even added in some arm movements occasionally. I imagine I only succeeded in making myself look even klutzier, but I felt empowered nonetheless.

My reason for being so forceful about getting out the door for today's class was that I was heading over to my quilter's house afterward to pick up the Intel Underneath quilt. My quilter Erin did her usual good job. This design was nothing special...a pantograph I saw online that I thought fit nicely with the printed circuit board fabric. It's a large quilt...queen size...and so I can't really get a good picture of it all spread out. I'll just give you some peeks until I get the binding sewn on, and then I'll enlist Mike to help me take a better picture of it. For now, here's what you can see of it.


Erin used a lightly variegated green thread, although it's hard to see the color in these images.


Recall that this quilt is for Matthew who will be receiving his engineering degree this summer. I call it Intel Underneath because he was doing an internship at Intel last year. Do you think I can still call it Intel Underneath now that he has a job waiting for him at Hewlett-Packard?

Here's how it looks from the back. I gave it a plain black backing, thinking that the back would look like a giant printed circuit board.


Okay, so I suppose you're wondering what the unexpected delivery was. I have a few things on order. When you live as far out of town as we do, you do a lot of online shopping, and I'm usually expecting at least one delivery...more often than not, I'm expecting several. So when I saw this box at the door, I was a little surprised by the packaging. I said to myself, "Oh, cute...somebody with a new baby used their Similac box to ship something to me."


And I looked at the shipping label to see who sent it.


And I was surprised to see it looking very official. Hopefully, I've obliterated enough of the identifying info that no one will be able to track me down.

So, then I slit the tape holding it shut, and saw this:


And as I opened the lid, I was thinking that it looked astonishingly like an actual box of Similac.

And my chin hit the floor when I opened it all the way and...STFU! (Google it, if you don't know what that stands for.)


It was an actual sample pack of Similac...complete with nipple!


And an invitation to join a support group online. Really?


And coupons! (I do loves me my coupons.)


And an invitation to log onto the Abbott Nutrition website to leave feedback!


"Strong Moms" indeed. Well I had some strong words for them. Holy shitamaroo! (That's a term I made up a while back. It works in these kinds of situations.)

So, of course, I checked with certain family members, just in case the names and addresses got mixed up somehow...although I can't even imagine how that could have happened, any more than I can imagine how I ended up receiving this rather expensive (I'm assuming) sampler pack of a product that I do not now--nor at any time in the future expect to--have any use for whatsoever.

To quote Winston Churchill: "It's a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma."

Weird, huh?

28 comments from clever and witty friends:

Colleen said...

STFU indeed! Im ROFLOL! So any pranksters in your family? Friends? Donate it to a Womans shelter. Im sure they could use it. Its like the time I was in my twenties and AARP sent me a membership card. Still LOL!

Tami C said...

Definitely a mystery! Smitty sure is targeted in on something! Your plants have perked up and are looking nice. Your son's quilt turn out great! I think the black backing really shows off the quilting. It does look like a circuit board!

Vroomans' Quilts said...

The varigated green works so nicely and the back does look like a circuit board. Hmmm, someone is missing an expensive box - as someone else said, gift it on to a church or womens' shelter for use.

crazy quilter said...

Sure do like the quilting! How very strange the delivery? Maybe you entered some contest and it is a third place prize?? Anyway gift it it some new mom, she will be thankful...

WoolenSails said...

That is so funny, maybe you could donate it to a food pantry?

Debbie

Quilting Babcia said...

Ha! We keep getting glossy mail invitations to find out more about cremation. I'd take the similac any day! Maybe it's an omen.

ipatchandquilt said...

Ha ha ha, with a nipple?
This is hilarious!!! It is aw onderful giftf or someone, though!
Your son's quilt is wonderful. The quilting really fits the theme.
Esther

Dasha said...

Your posts are always a laugh but this one had me rolling on the floor, wiping the tears away. Looks like you really hit the jackpot there babe!

Kathy Felsted Usher said...

Well congratulations new mom to be! What a surprise! LOL

Lynn - JnL4God said...

Well thank you so much for a great laugh this morning. First the "Google it if you don't know what it means" ha ha and then I like the part in the package that says "An Incredible Journey is about to begin" Yes indeed - that would be incredible alright. :) On another note - The quilt turned out very awesome, love the colors and she did do a nice job on the quilting. Congrats to him and you and Mike - I know you are proud of him. Happy Day!

littleorphanskein said...

Contact the postal service and see if they can help track down the correct person? And call Similac to tell them someone REALLY screwed up lol.

Vicki W said...

That is hilarious! It will be a nice donation for someone.

treadlemusic said...

Still giggling!!!!!!!

Dana Gaffney said...

The quilt is perfect and yes you can still call it that, I'm sure HP uses intel inside.
If you had told us you were pregnant we could have had a virtual baby shower LOL
Maybe it's a sign of dreams coming true.

Nita said...

Hahahahaha! OMG that is so funny! Similac! At first I thought that would be a clever way to let you know a grandbaby is on the way, lol!

kc said...

Oh, I just about fell outta the chair when I read "STFU" - I just didn't see that coming! Now, about the box's actual contents, it's my thought that your wish is finally coming true, and Erik & Mae are just waiting for you to figure it out! And, if it's *really* not from them, perhaps the Good Lord is calling you to make up a baby quilt and donate the two to a battered women's shelter? I dunno, but I still think it's a hint at things to come! Oh, and the quilt turned out really well too; the panto was the perfect choice!

works4me said...

Fabulous quilt. The quilting choice was spot-on.

Similac - lol. Looks like a food bank will soon be very happy.

Smitty. Well, Smitty is being Smitty. :)

carla said...

LOL!!!! My sister who is 46 got one a couple months back...she wasn't home when it was delivered so her husband and 23yr old son where a little concerned!!!! She had called home from my house and was telling me while she was on the phone...anyway the week before she was shopping and got home with an E.P.T. test in her bag...probably got left behind....I tried to get her to play it up...she wouldn't do it!!!! I think it would have been too funny!!!!!

Paula said...

Donate it to a Women's shelter. They can always use it.

Diane Wild said...

STFU: Southern Tenant Farmers Union. Wikipedia. LOL

Judy1522 said...

Oh my gosh that is too funny! I actually thought it was going to be your son and his wife's way of telling you that you were going to be a grandmother. I love the quilt!

Vicki Price said...

The quilt is great - I love the rounded squares quilt design.

As for the formula ... are you sure Smitty hasn't been fat-pawing the keyboard? He seems a bit mischievous to me!

LethargicLass said...

dang! I thought for sure we were finally getting the "I'm going to be a Grandma!" post! How bizarre!

Cheryl's Teapots2Quilting said...

Hmmm... I wonder what will be happening at your house in the next few months ;) The doc's office asked me if I was pregnant yesterday, when I made my yearly appointments.

knitnkwilt said...

Well, the donate to a women's shelter comments are probably better than my idea, but here goes.

Back in the dark ages when my two were newborns, hospitals sent new mothers home with formula, and those of us in La Leche League wanted no part of it. It was suggested that formula makes very good pancakes.

The quilting looks good on your quilt. Alas the Smitty photo didn't download. But I'll check in again and maybe it will then. My WiFi gets cranky when too many people are online.

Brown Family said...

Live the quilt. Do not change the name. My HP has Intel inside!

You have several good suggestions for the formula, but you might also ask Planned parenthood.

quiltzyx said...

Intel Inside looks fabulous! Love the way the back looks too.

Oh my! That is just TOO funny!!! My first thought was that it came from Mae & Eric. What a strange mistake. (I also got a letter/invitation to join from AARP when I was 22.) Donating to the local food pantry or hospital would be good too.

Kate said...

Hmmm, not your typical package that's for sure. What did Mike think?

Intel Underneath looks great. The quilting fits the pattern so well.