6/28/12

Oh, the Indignity


George aka Captain Cattastic here:  Okay, so here's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

I have this bad acne.  It didn't start until I was a teenager, and I've been dealing with it ever since.  It's worse when I eat too many potato chips or drink too many margaritas.

So here's what happened:  while my huwoman was in Ireland, my human had trouble giving me my medicine.  I'm strong and virile, and it takes the two of them to hold me down.  Now my acne is bad again.  Oh well.  It bothers them a lot more than it bothers me . . . especially when I scratch at it until it bleeds.  But I'm used to being bloodied and bruised.  It's all part of being a superhero, I figure.

So my huwoman gets all worked up and takes me to the vet.  And the vet takes a look at the male pattern baldness on my back that's been there since before Thanksgiving of 2011.  You can see it here in this image of me from the greenhouse.


Yeah, so.  Being a superhero is hard.  I have the scars to prove it.  Actually, I think my cape just wears away the fuzz.  But, oh well.  My huwoman and the vet work up this scheme because the vet thinks the skin is getting sunburned when I go outside and she thinks that's what's keeping the fur from growing back.  So get this:  The vet actually tells my huwoman to put a t-shirt on me when I go outside!

For cripe's sake.  My huwoman has been wanting to dress me up like a doll since I was a kitten.  So what does she do but run right out and get me these baby t-shirts (size 6 months) with motorcycle dudes and surfer dudes and stuff on them.  And she put one of them on me yesterday!  But I foiled her evil plan and worked my way out of that stupid shirt I was wearing.  She found it on the patio and she found me naked--yeah, like a cat is supposed to be!

But now my huwoman has me trussed up with safety pins and I can't get the stupid shirt off.  I'm telling you.  This place.  If it weren't for the excellent kitty treats, excellent pets, my ample-bodied assistant Gracie, bird feeders, and squirrels, I would be so outa here.  

I just hope my evil nemesis Uno doesn't see me.  I'd never live that down.



32 comments from clever and witty friends:

Joni said...

How cute!

Samantha said...

Oh the catmanity! This made me laugh so hard. Thanks George!

P.S. Wear the shirt, your human mama loves you and wants whats best. :D

sunny said...

George, it's not bad enough what she's done to you, but now she's posted it on that there internet thingy for the entire world to see! You're still a macho man in my eyes. Get better soon so you can be done with this nonsense.

Lee Ann L. said...

I had to put a "coat" on Gracie when we first got her to keep her from scratching the wound that was left from her amputation (which was done before we even knew, met or adopted her). Even though you may hate your t-shirts (she did hate her "coat"); it does a body good in the long run. She is now free of her coat and a very happy kitty. You will be free too George. Just hang in there.

heartsease54 said...

George looks really PO'd in that first picture. Poor baby, hope the t-shirts work.

Debbie said...

George, you have a new fan...and I think you are very handsome and courageous in your t-shirt. I know that naked is more fun, but sometimes you have to accept the powers that be...she means well, I promise.
Great post...loved it.

Denise :) said...

Poor George! Don't tell him, but that one picture almost makes me want to call him, "Georgie"! Hope he's feeling better soon and ditch the trussing! :)

Dirt Road Quilter said...

Oh, the things that superheroes must indure! What is the world coming to? Hang in there George! My cat, Sylvester, thinks green is your color. He said to cowboy up and ask for extra treats.

Lorena Escobar said...

Que hermoso gato!!!

ytsmom said...

Too funny! Do you have any suggestions for a cat that keeps scratching (drawing blood) his ear. He has had a cone on for about 6 weeks now. The ear is healed, but he still wants to scratch is when we try to take the cone off.

Teresa F. said...

George is really a super cat. No one can stop him. I loved your story.Nevertheless he really needs something to keep him from scratching the skin. Good luck!

Pieces to Love said...

Oh my goodness, that was hysterical! The poor kitty, he is lucky you didn't put a 0-3mo onesie on him.

AlessandraLace said...

poor George, hope you get better soon. listen to your mom. hugs

Kathy Felsted Usher said...

George, you look great. I'll bet the lady cats think so too! Keep the shirt.

Sand and Sunshine said...

Oh Dear George,

What a tangle you have gotten yourself into. No worries as a super hero you can surely battle even the acne down!

Kate said...

George you just have to face the fact that you are loved. Your huwoman is probably really sad she has to subject your hero-dom to mundane shirt wearing. But you do wear it so well.

Diane Wild said...

Suck it up, George. Remember, you almost went over the Rainbow Bridge with the medicine. This is a better option for you. Meow!!

SewCalGal said...

Oh George, you are one tough due and a purrfect Captain Cattastic!

Barbara - not sure this would help, but years ago I had a dog that had similar loss of fur and even with frequent vet visits we could never get it under control. I fed her good foods (science diet/iams), but learned of some oil supplement at Petco. I thought "heck, I'm willing to try anything". Put a few drops on her food daily and within a few months we saw improvement and a year it went away, to never return. You are a good mom and doing all the right things, but you may want to try some oil food supplements.

And, tell George I think he looks really cool in his green shirt. Like a movie star.

Sure hope to see George with one of your quilts in the upcoming Pets on Quilts Show.

SewCalGal
www.sewcalgal.blogspot.com

My Sister Made Me Do It.... said...

Love love love this post! And love old George too..........I'm still smiling after reading. xoxo

mahoo said...

It could be worse George. She could make you wear a hat too!

Junebug613 said...

Oh the felinity!! Poor George. At least your huwoman lets you out still. My kitties, except Bob all have to spend all their time indoors. I think the green shirt is quite stunning....

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, George, but I just had to laugh at your post. You are so funny! (But I didn't share with Charlie, or he might have gotten ideas about not taking his medication.) Please be good and take your medication and wear your shirts, so you get better.
Barbara, when do you get your quilt back? Sharon - ssauser@dishmail.net

sandyb said...

Well Captain you would have looked dashing to our Vanessa who huchildren would dress her up in the prettiest ruffled dresses and put sunglasses on her and then put her in a doll carriage. She would sort of get the same look on her face as you but she stuck it out for 19 years. What a wonderful couple you would have made. Charlie says that you are a hero to him and he looks for your stories in his little 3 month old body but don't leap from too tall building:)

sandyb said...

Sorry for the extra post - Our dog emily - had really bad skin and we fought it for years and we fed her Iams which we thought was the best food but I changed her to Chicken soup for the dog lover's soul and within two weeks her sores were healing, no more scratching, so more bad skin and all of her other ailments stopped for another 3 years. I feel that the change in food gave her another 3 years with us.

I know there is a difference between cat and dog but I think the no corn, no grain type good makes a big difference. We feed charlie Fromms - they quite often give free bags etc. this was highly recommended by a friend of mine.

Mommarock said...

That's funny right there!! I'll tell you a funny too. My weiner dog. Who just passed away two weeks ago (boo hoo) had gone into heat for the first time on Christmas Day! Nothing was open to help us with that little predicament. SOOOO. Being the genius that I was... I took a tube sock out of my husbands drawer and cut out the necessary holes and slid that sock right onto my weiner dog and put her tail and legs into the necessary holes and tadaa she had herself a nice necessary little outfit right there with a mini-pad put right in the necessary poisition. But it did have a red band or two on the collar for decoration :)

Cheryl's Teapots2Quilting said...

Hey George, at least it isn't pink and frilly! Not too many super hero's in frilly pink outfits.

Mrs.Pickles said...

oh no poor George! He does look pretty cute though!

Susana said...

El es un adorable Super Héroe .

Linda Coleman said...

Oh Geoge I shouldn't laugh but I did. You should write a book of stories about what your huwoman makes you do. Hope you are better soon

Dana Gaffney said...

He looks so angry, but funny (don't tell him I said that, wouldn't want a superhero angry with me). It would be terrible to let Uno see him like that, you know how cat's can be...well, catty.

LethargicLass said...

Well I think it brings out the green in your eyes,and you kind of look like James Dean with your little shoulder cuffed up there :) Hugs and kisses!

quiltzyx said...

I can imagine a dedicated naturist & super hero like you Capt'n would find it hard to wear a tshirt. But at least she picked 'tough' ones for you. You can do it, I know you can.