12/13/16

The Ugly Loaf

If there were a prize for the ugliest loaf of bread ever baked, I'm sure I'd win it. In fact, I'm thinking of starting my own contest just so I can win. (I'm very competitive that way.)


It's possible to make a beautiful loaf of Christopsomos. Here's one I saw online. 


Here's the image in the book that showed me how to shape the loaf. I did pretty well with the boule. The "cross" was a little harder.


Here's how mine looked just before I popped it into the oven.


For one thing, I had a little trouble keeping the "cross" dough in place...and those little curly-cues at the end...forget it. They wouldn't stay curled, and I was afraid they would fall away from the loaf and burn. I sort of tucked them under the bottom of the loaf to hold them in place.

Here's another pretty one found online. I didn't look at these until after mine was already in the oven. Theirs were shaped around walnuts, and that seemed like a good idea.


Here's my loaf...and what a sad thing it is. 


Now...you need to understand that I'm saying all of this tongue-in-cheek. Because I'm still learning, I get the luxury of poking fun at my ugly loaf. Anybody who expects perfection on their first try is setting themselves up for disappointment, and so I'm just happy it came out of the oven in one piece. Still...I'm sure it would win the ugly prize if there was one. This one below, however...lovely.


And you can see how the walnuts help hold the curly-cue shape. On the other hand...these are my curly-cues.


I'm not saying a single word about what this reminds me of, and you should get your mind out of the gutter. Shame on you.

With all of that said, the proof is on the inside, so to speak, and mine was very pretty inside. Of course I had to slice off a piece and taste it. The cranberries, raisins, and walnuts make it one tasty bread.


For breakfast this morning, I had a slice toasted with plenty of butta. Mmm, mmm, mmm. 


It just goes to show, you should never judge a bread by its crust...or something like that.

The only other thing I accomplished yesterday was getting the next design traced out for Hocuspocusville. This morning, I started stitching on it.


I'm hoping I can get this one finished before January 1st because that's when we'll be starting the Bag Ladies of the Fat Quarter Club stitch-along.

Cat Patches

You can click on that image for all the details about the stitch-along. (There will be a monthly linky party with prizes!!!) There's still plenty of time to join in. The patterns are available at Chickadee Hollow Designs. You can contact them directly right here to receive 10% off the patterns. Just tell them Cat Patches sent you. I'll be starting off with "Ernestine" and in a week or so, I'll show you how I prepare the blocks for stitching. These come pre-stamped and colored, but it's still a good idea to add a backing to your block before stitching.

Today I'm picking up eggs from the farmers and then doing my grocery shopping. Hopefully, I'll have time this afternoon to get back to the quilting for Gingerbread Square. We're expecting more snow tomorrow, so it's time to stock up.

25 comments:

JoJo said...

Okay, I laughed out loud. My mind wasn't in the gutter....really! LOL Congrats on the bread. It looks yummy.

Vroomans' Quilts said...

I laughed the whole way thru this and I did have my mind in the gutter, sorry. It may look ugly, but I bet it tastes wonderful!! I am still waiting for my Bag Ladies patterns to arrive so I can get things in place.

Quilting Babcia said...

Your bread-making commentaries have the makings of a book - and no, we won't judge the book by its cover, lol! Seriously, the bread looks wonderful and you can always just skip the cantankerous swirlymacross thing across the top and call it good!

Cathy Smith said...

I sat down to eat lunch and do a little blog reading. I almost CHOKED!!!! Can you hear me laughing all the way from Arizona? No? I'm surprised you can't. Just call me the "Queen of the Gutter Snipes"! Who cares what it looks like so long as it's GOOD!

gpc said...

My mind, always in the gutter, enjoyed your loaf very much. I hope it was good for the loaf, too, but really it's all about me. Oh yeah, that loaf can put its shoes under my table any time. :)

Sandra W said...

I didn't know it was possible to bake a naughty loaf of bread! How funny. But it does look yummy.

claudia said...

I was snickering, until you said to get my mind out of the gutter, then I blushed!

Debbie said...

Thank you for the giant belly laugh....I had to pause to catch my breath. Inside it looks really tasty, who cares that it drooped and lost the curl..giggle, giggle. You still did good. I award you the best ugly loaf award.

Janarama said...

ROFLMAO, my mind went straight to the gutter when I saw your first picture (food porn at it's finest), before you baked the bread. Then your commentary, well let's just say I had my belly laugh for the day. However, I don't think your finished product is ugly at all. It may not look like the one in your cookbook, but it still looks delicious. It's so freakin' cold here that a nice slice or ten of homemade bread and butta and a cup of coffee would hit the spot.

Julianne said...

OMG! I burst out laughing!!! Testicles!!! BaaaaHaaaaHaaaa!!!

Donna said...

Oh, pish-posh! Your loaf has the irresistible look of I was lovingly handmade for your eating pleasure. And, I am GOOD - taste me!

crazy quilter said...

I think you are being too hard on yourself. Look at that delicate brown crust all over the outside! It says yummy all over it! Glad it tasted as good as it looks! Enjoy the fruits of your labor... And stay warm.

Ioleen said...

Thanks for the laughs. Lovely looking loaf of bread. I made sour dough bread today but I cheated and used my bread machine. You tried and well done!!!

Lana said...

Um yeah.....my mind went straight to the.....gutter. Lol. I thought of you & your bread baking when I tuned into The Great American Baking Show last night. They were baking various breads. When they started talking about "proofing" I was like I know what they're talking about! And they had some "failures." Hey as long as it tastes yummy, shut your eyes and enjoy!

Brown Family said...

The outside doesn't matter as long as it was crusty and the inside tasty! Can't wait to start Ernestine!

SJSM said...

And I thought you were doing a sculpture piece. Hubby should be proud. :)

Dana Gaffney said...

Only you would make porn bread LOL.

Cheryl's Teapots2Quilting said...

All that matters is if the bread tastes good.

Amy said...

Thank you for the belly laugh today! I am enjoying your bread making adventures. I finally made peace with yeast two years ago, and am baking some very elementary bread. You are inspiring me to try something a little more complex in 2017.

Barb H said...

Barbara, you know us too well. My mind immediately went to the gutter! And it stayed there as I read through the previous comments! Thanks for the laughter, and enjoy your porn bread!

Dar said...

If that is the "worse loaf of bread" you ever bake, then I'm never showing my failures on my blog. My last one, which was supposed to be easy by comparison, looked way worse than your's, so I will just take that title away from you, thank you very much. Also, mine did not look as good 'inside' as yours either. I bet it tasted yummy from the pictures I see.

Quilter Kathy said...

Oh my goodness my mind was totally in the gutter! HA!

Judy1522 said...

Thanks for the good laugh, I did go there with what I was thinking and laughed even harder. The inside looked very yummy! Okay I had to call my husband in to look at it. I didn't say a word and he burst out laughing. You will be happy to know that he also thought it looked yummy.
I am glad you are going to show us how you prepare the blocks for the Chickadee Hollow quilt along. I am looking forward to starting on it in the new year.

quiltzyx said...

Yes, a very interesting boule of bread indeed! Glad it was so tasty with butta.
I will have to pick Ernestine out of the pack. Looking forward to learning how to prepare for embroidery.

Kate said...

Thanks for the giggle! Your bread was beautifully golden brown and showed a lovely crust for, so you can ignore the unfortunate appearance concerns. You always manage to get so much done and make it look easy.