Good morning. In case you don't know me, my name is Maggie, aka furmer streetwalker, Noel. My mom and dad changed my name. They were hoping I'd refurm my streetwalking ways. My kittens were all taken into purrtective custody, and so I suppose it's time to turn over a new paw.
So I moved into this place called the Three Cats Ranch recently. It's taken me a while to learn the ropes, and I don't have it all down completely yet. Today I'd like to take this purrfectly fine opurrtunity to show you around the place and tell you what I've seen so fur.
This guy here...he thinks he's in charge. Ha. We'll just let him go on thinking that. A wise woman knows purrfectly well what to do about him. Boy cats...they're so silly.
This here's my new dad. I like him.
I've been exploring this place up, down, in, out, over, under, and it's not bad at all. Fur example, this here's my new dad's lap. I sat on it.
See this bed? I slept on it. Definitely purr-worthy.
See this carpurrt? I walked on it. It was soft on my toesies.
See these stairs? I went up 'em.
My new mom was sewing up there. I kinda like this quilt. It has cats all over it. A very good sign.
And it makes a purrfect hidey hole.
Follow me downstairs, if you will. My new mom has a sewing machine down there too. I checked it out.
Here's this pawsitively ridiculous boy cat again.
Up there's his clubhouse. It says "He Man Woman Haters" on a sign at the door. Have you ever heard of something so purrposterous? I'll deal with him later.
Fur now there's this soft pile of quilts. I sat on 'em.
And see this closet? Geez...my new mom is a messy housekeepurr. I'm gonna have to help her purrganize this mess.
And underneath my new dad's recliner...I looked inside.
See this couch? I've been under and on top of it.
See my new mom's feet under that quilt? I bit 'em.
See this window here? I looked outa it...and I chattered at the birds outside. I might go outside some day and see if I can score some poultry bits. Not now, though. I'm still getting the lay of the land inside the house.
See this feather toy? I played with it. It made me hungry.
So I ate some of my food...from my bowls. You can tell these are my bowls. They say C-A-T on them. I'm a pawsitively excellent speller.
And see this hallway? I ran laps around it.
But I gotta keep an eye out for this purroblem cat.
There's something he needs to know about me. He's used to that grandma cat that used to live here. I heard she got her nails manicured a little too short one time. Not me...these knife-purrnt daggers had to be registered as deadly weapons. We'll just see who gets the better of that fight.
He's gonna be in fur a surpurrize if he messes with me.