5/10/15

Happy Mother's Day

Today I'm keeping my post short. It's not a good day for me to be writing because I like to keep things positive around here. To be clear, staying positive isn't for anyone's benefit but my own. My blog is a place where I count my blessings, and they are many. It isn't a place where I write about unhappy things. Like anyone, I have my share. That's life, but who wants to hear about it? Anyway...just a little bit of honesty there. My life is good. It is very, very good. It isn't perfect.

Which brings me to Mother's Day. It's the special occasion I've loved hating for a good many years. When I worked in mental health, my colleagues and I acknowledged that Mother's Day, more than any other day, is fraught with landmines. People seem to get either too much family or not enough on holidays; but Mother's Day seems particularly bad. Not everyone has a spouse, sister, brother, lover, etc., but everyone has a mother. Some of those relationships are better than others. Some are loaded with conflict and bad feelings. My own mother has been gone a long time, and I miss her on this day. It's not my only reason for disliking the day, however.

Here's what I celebrate: I celebrate the fact of being a mother. As long as I can remember...back to the days when I was a little girl...I knew I wanted to be a mother someday. My sons bring me joy beyond description, and that's reason enough to celebrate the day. Still, Mother's Day often leaves me sad, which is how I'm feeling as I write this. There's no need to go into the reasons. It is enough to acknowledge the feeling. And now I will move on from that. Sorry to be writing from such a down place...it's why I'm keeping today's post short.

Yesterday I noticed my favorite rhododendron is starting to bloom:


When we lived at our previous home, a neighbor had one of these dark purple ones. Our previous home was around 25 years old when we moved in, and the landscaping was complete. There were many things we would have loved to plant, but it would have meant doing what we like to refer to as "slash and burn" gardening. When we moved to this current home, we bought this one, but didn't get it planted until late in the summer. 

In the interim, we went on a week-long camping trip during a particularly hot spell of weather. We had someone watering, but this little rhodie was stuck back in a dark corner, and the person doing the watering completely missed it. When we got back from our trip, the poor thing was downright crispy. Mike stuck it in a bucket of water to soak, and it came back eventually. It seems like a little survivor plant...brought back from the brink of death...and so it's something to celebrate when it blooms each year. It's the last of the rhodies to bloom, and it's certainly worth waiting for.

This morning, I moved my hoop for the last time on the latest of the Quilting Snowladies. A few more hours of stitching, and this one will be finished.


This morning I'm going to feed the birds and water the pots. Matthew and Mike have been sawing up our downed tree. They didn't get it finished yesterday, and so Matthew is coming back today to finish up. Once I have my outdoor chores done, I'm going to spend the rest of the day in the sewing room. I want to make the back for the Irish Doors quilt, and I'm going to get to work on two more blocks for Lisa's quilt.

Happy Mother's Day to all of you, whether you are a mother, have a mother, or just happen to like mothers. Have a good day.

17 comments from clever and witty friends:

barbara woods said...

i cry all day !

ipatchandquilt said...

Just wanted to give you a huge internet hug!
Esther
esthersipatchandquilt at yahoo dot com

Debbie said...

I share your feelings about this day.....and hate how commercial it has become to increase the thought of perfection. I chose to celebrate I did my best. Now leave me alone!

gpc said...

It's a whisper to those of you with little ones -- as frantic and frustrating as those kids-underfoot days can be, the little years are the ones when Mother's Day is as good as it gets. Spilled juice and cold cereal in bed, finger painted cards signed with X's and O's, cherish those days while you have them. No matter what a grown kid does, they can't compete with the memory of when we were the most important thing in the world to them. And truly, we know deep down, that we wanted to raise kids who had busy, happy lives of their own . . . . it just feels so good to feel needed, and Mother's Day is the ultimate reminder that (1) we were successful in raising independent adults and (2) nobody will ever need us that way again. The very best it can be at this point is bittersweet; more often it's just pissy.

Quilting Babcia said...

I understand; this day is bittersweet for many. Hugs from WNY to you my quilting buddy.

Chris said...

Dear Barbara,
I also share your feelings about this day. I treat it as any other day.

Sally T said...

Just a quick note from Gracie and Smitty...the world revolves around us, remember? We do not recognize holidays. And we certainly wouldn't recognize our mothers. So get back to work!

gram k said...

Hugs and Thank you as always for the joy I fet reading your blog!

Kirsty said...

Gorgeous rhododendron! Love the intensity of that boysenberry colour and the patternation. Stunning!

mogsinc said...

Thanks always for a fantastic blog. We all have moments that are bittersweet. As you say, we need to acknowledge them and move on Enjoy your day

Dana Gaffney said...

Mother's Day, for me, is all about why I'm a mother the greatest joy of my life.

DaniQuilts said...

I sort of feel this way about other holidays - Easter and Christmas. For me, Mothers Day has been ... low voltage. I enjoy it because it's one of the two days I don't have to cook dinner (my birthday is the other). I hadn't realized that it can be such a painful time for some, and I should have. I love reading your blog, Barbara. There's always some new interesting insight to read and gorgeous pictures to see. Thank you for sharing.

Diane Wild said...

Sheesh, and I thought I was the only one who had these depressed feelings. Not having raised any children, I feel lost. Yet, I was blessed to learn that there are people in my life who consider me to be important enough to send their love to me on Mother's Day. It was enough to cast off my pity bag and move on. Feeling blessed.

quiltzyx said...

You're allowed to have blue days too - tell Gracie & Smitty that I said to give you some extra purring for a while. (((hugs)))
Gosh that rhodie is beautiful! Since we had that bit of rain last week (and *they* are saying maybe a bit more this Friday), I think I'll get a few more blooms in the Tortured Flower garden in front of my house. :)

Marlene said...

Sending you big hugs from across the seas. At work on mothers day, as a midwife, it was also not a day of celebration for some. What a gorgeous colour that rhododendron is.

Betty said...

Mothers Day is mixed emotions for me also. My mother is gone and I miss her, but she never wanted a fuss made over her. My MIL is still with us and she cannot wait for the flowers and cards and all the kids stopping by. Two very different but precious ladies in my life. As someone said earlier, the day can be bittersweet. I never know how my son will respond, it varies from year to year. He lives far away from AL, so I don't get to see him except for Skype (which makes Boston seem a lot closer than it really is). He called to say he put a card in the mail on Saturday, better late than not at all. I'm sure my DIL was responsible party for making sure he got that done. Sometimes the guy needs guidance!

Kate said...

Hope your day got better. Stitching always helps me at least move closer to that "zen" spot where I usually at least feel better about things in general.