4/19/15

Fast Cat, Slow Cat

Gracie! I see squirrels. We should run out and catch us a couple for breakfast omelets. A little Gruyere cheese and a soupcon of dill, and we could feast!


"Soupcon?" Honestly, Smitty. People are going to think you're some kind of snotty French chat when you go saying stuff like that.


But that's not what's bothering me today. Today, I'm just a tad miffed that mom took me to get my stitches out the other day and didn't even mention the ordeal on her blog. I guess if you want a blog post done right, you have to write it yourself. Write right. That's my motto for the day. And to write right, you have to show people how things are looking on your ample hindquarters. Yes, ample. That's what I said. I'm applying for jobs as one of those plus size models, and so I have to stay fit.


Not bad, eh? I've been working at it with my sandpaper tongue, and I think I've got it pretty well cleaned up now. And my lovely furs are growing back...and I just want to point out once again that my furs are my natural color. Black from black skin and orange from pink skin. No phony dye jobs for me...and no Botox either. 

What about my furs, Gracie? Don't you think I'm looking marvelous framed in this rim light?


Smitty. you always look marvelous. You are but a mere child.


Your whiskers are impressive, however. You can be proud of your facial hair, fur sure.

Really, Gracie? Do you think so? Here...let me turn my head this way a little so that you can get a really good look.


I've been helping mom with her sewing. Yesterday we did something really fast! Fast! That's how I roll. Mom says we can't show it off until next week, and so I mixed it up a little. Does it look fast to you?


You've got me there, Smitty. Fast isn't my style. I'm more into the slow stuff...like this slow stitching Mom was doing this morning. She's almost finished with this one. She's stitched all the stuff to the right of the green line. There's something wrong here though. Do you see any cats in this picture?


Maybe one of those cars is a cat-illac! Hahahahahahahahahaha! I think I missed my calling as a catmedian, don't you think?

I guess it depends on what you mean by "funny". You're certainly purrculiar, and so I suppose it's pawsible. 

Okay, Gracie. Enough jokes for one day. This fast cat is headed outside to rustle up some squirrel for breakfast. Wanna come?


Sure, Smitty, but I'm gonna hang out here on the catio. I'll leave the fast stuff up to you.


Okay, Gracie...I've got my fast pants on!


Well, I hate to say it, my friend, but I think your exhaust system might be running a little rich. You might want to have that checked out.


20 comments from clever and witty friends:

Crickets Corner said...

It's dangerous when Smitty and Gracie take over the blog. I just had lung surgery four weeks ago and when I read Gracie telling Smitty about his exhaust system I thought I was going to laugh so hard I'd collapse my lung again. lol Good thing they were outside because you and I both know that kitty kisses of the rear kind can run you out of the house. Rina

Sher S. said...

This is so funny and lovable for both cats. They sure had an adventure. Gracie needs to be careful of Smitty's exhaust.....it could be dangerous. LOL!!!

Lyndsey said...

It's lovely to see the two of them being so friendly. Gracie must be desperate for her lovely fur to regrow and Smitty is going to have to work out a strategy to catch the squirrels. The're just too sneaky for words, running up trees and then jumping from branch to branch. They really don't give a cat a fair chance.

quiltzyx said...

Yes Gracie, it looks like you've done a perfect job with your sandpaper tongue. I knew your furs had to be all-natural - dyed ones are just never as beautiful as the real thing. And you're also doing a good job keeping Smitty in line too! Woohoo!

Beth said...

Oh, she is healing beautifully. Please thank her for allowing us a very good look--I know how she values her dignity, but I have been curious.

Vroomans' Quilts said...

Purrfectly wonderful post today dear Smits and Gracie Girl!

Michele said...

You two are just hilarious. So did you catch a squirrel Smitty or did you end up having to dine on the stuff Mom buys at the store instead? Gourmet food is so hard to catch.

Shell - Little Orphan Stitch said...

Thanks for the laugh!

Dana Gaffney said...

Miss Gracie looks good, I'm so glad to see how well she's healing.

Lou said...

Love it!!!!

Soapstone Quilts said...

Thanks, kitties, for my late-morning lol!!

KMSC said...

I always love your blog but Gracie and Smitty are two hilarious kitty-bloggers. Love reading about their day to day life. Hugs to them!

CJ Smith said...

I NEEDED this! Was in a funky frame of mind and discovered there is nothing better than Gracie to get me laughing! In fact, I almost busted a gut laughing. Thanks Gracie!

Jacque said...

Oh, me too! I needed a laugh today....thank you Smitty and Gracie!

liniecat said...

Smitty is a handsome guy but Gracie has such a pretty face bless her and such lovely torty markings. Glad the stitching is healing nicely : )

Junebug613 said...

I love when the kitties post! You go Gracie! Your boo boo looks like it's healing well.

Brown Family said...

Your kitty posts are super fun!

Tami C said...

Loved hearing from the furry bloggers!

Dar said...

I laughed so hard at Gracie's comment about Smitty's exhaust system, that my contact floated right out of my left eye. Had to show my husband who was watching TV and read him the whole blog. I could hardly contain my laughter until the end. When it came, he understood what I was laughing about. That was better than a bottle of medicine for sure! Thanks so much Gracie and Smitty.

SJSM said...

Just as fun today as when I first read it. Gracie, what a sweet girl. Running rich, ha!