2/3/14

Beauty and the Beast


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It seems a good way to start this post...with something beautiful...it is one of the shrubs in my garden when it is fully in bloom, a member of the magnolia family. Yesterday I walked out to the greenhouse to clip some rosemary for last night's dinner. I keep it potted and it winters over in the greenhouse because rosemary doesn't winter over well at our elevation. Ironically, given the activity on this blog over the past 24 hours, I have seen this image pinned with no attribution to me as the photographer. I'll admit to feeling a little miffed the first time I saw it. Nevertheless, my life remains essentially unchanged despite this exploitation of my original work. I say that not to inflame, but just as an observation that we can survive life's minor disappointments, and we most often do.

And now I will briefly turn my attention to the "beast" of the past 24 hours, which in my mind is what Teresa described so precisely when she said called it "cyber-mob mentality". Indeed. I'm not sure what compels folks to write such hateful comments directed at other folks they don't even know, seeming to forget that they are directing their enmity toward living breathing human beings. I believe that most of these folks are probably good people in their "regular" lives, but give someone the ability to remain anonymous, and their dark side sometimes takes over. Give them glimpse of someone to hate, and they pile on without restraint. It's curious, and its ugly, and I regret that it has reared its head on this blog. It is the biggest downside of all social media, in my opinion.

I'm going to say something briefly here, and then I want this to be the end of it. Quite enough blood has been spilled already. Most importantly, I want to say that the artist in this situation has been completely professional and gracious in her dealings with me. If I gave the impression that she had been anything other than that, then I owe her an additional apology. From my end, I believe we have had an honest and frank discussion about her concerns, and I hope she feels the same. I cannot speak for her. Her goal in all of this was to educate, and she brought up a legitimate concern about licensing that might indeed have cost her future income if I had left my post intact. I don't understand the ins and outs of licensing, and so I won't try to explain it, but her point is legitimate and well-taken.

Also, she explained to me that she did not ask anyone to email me or to leave any comments for me. That is where the "beast" took over, and she has no control over what her Facebook followers do, any more than I can control what any of you do. Both she and I can only control our own actions. I have removed the parts of my post that she requested, and I have apologized to her. For her part, she has removed the offending post on her Facebook page along with all the hurtful comments that ensued. She has also initiated a full refund on the print I purchased, although I did not request one. Nevertheless, it was a thoughtful and conciliatory gesture, and I appreciate it. That's all I want to say about this matter, and I would like it to be closed now.

There is one more thing I feel a need to address, however, and this comment is directed at Chiaviva: You are a no-reply blogger. Despite your assertion, I have no way to contact you. If you have something to say to me, please email me at the link I have provided and reveal your real name. Any more commentary from you that I interpret as lecturing or scolding will be removed without apology. I am happy to have a private conversation with you, one adult to another, but your pontificating is not welcome here.

Thank you to those of you who have left such encouraging and supportive comments. In the 3-1/2 years I have been blogging, I have never received a negative comment until now. That is truly quite remarkable given that this is a public forum. As I stated above, give folks some anonymity, and they somehow feel compelled to let loose at times. It is to your credit that you have always been welcoming and friendly to me and I salute you for that.

17 comments from clever and witty friends:

Sher S. said...

Beautiful photo of your flower! As you are beautiful both in and out.

liniecat said...

What a nightmare, glad you and the original artist have come to an agreement.
Its of no business to the rest of us ( other than now sadly perhaps, as a learning curve)
but I cannot understand why so many folks need to get out a bloody soapbox to stand on and then throw their two penneth worth in - to issues that are nothing to do with them!
I would just ban the dippy Chia-wot-not rather than enter any dialogue with her, folks like that feed off any kind of reply lets face it.

Cath said...

I love your flower photo. it is so detailed and beautiful. Happy to read your post today. Sorted out, thank goodness.
Cath @ Bits 'n Bobs

Tami C said...

Your flower is really beautiful! Glad everything is worked out.

Donna said...

Beautiful photograph.

Kate said...

I'm glad to see you both deleted the posts about it. I'd much rather see things worked out privately by the two people involved - yes, one doesn't have control of what their Facebook followers do...which is why it probably shouldn't have been posted. It's not that hard to realize how fan/mobs get on the Internet.
And I'm also sorry it came to this! I'm making a quilt from a piece of art, and I struggle with attribution. The quilt is only a part of the artwork, and the artist merely says it's a traditional quilt pattern. Not one that I can find, and I wouldn't be making it if I hadn't seen it in her art, and I am copying her colors, so... I don't know. It's hard, especially when the Internet is involved. (Don't get me started on Pinterest.)

Kate said...

You've been gracious and thoughtful throughout the "discussion" of this issue, it's sad that others can't be the same. Glad that you and the artist have come to an understanding.

The flower photo really is gorgeous. It reminds me that spring will be here soon. I'm ready, it's way too cold at the moment.

Brown Family said...

That is a beautiful flower. To comment further only extends the issues!

SJSM said...

Barbara, in trying times our family (and that includes our fur kids) is a place to restore our heart. May you sleep well knowing you have integrity, honesty and a kind heart. Tomorrow is another day and you have a full life to live on the top of your hill. I love reading about your day to day life with Gracie and Smitty, your quilting, gardening, cooking and the way you look at life.

Sherry said...

Your heart and soul is as beautiful as your quilts and photography.

kc said...

Grace under pressure, that's you. Diplomatic, polite, kind, and some eye candy to boot. Very nice post from a very nice person.

Maybe I'm a little more emotional than usual at the moment (my sidekick is currently at the vet's, presumably fast asleep, getting her February "bargain" doggie dental), but this post moved me to tears. Yeah, I was surprised too. :) HUGS & PETS!!

Beth said...

Barb, I missed yesterday's happenings, but there is no deadline on serene good wishes, right?

As I was reading through today's comments, I was thinking what a community is created here, and how many people are linked through your blog and our common interests. Then I read the note just above mine, from kc whose "sidekick"--I love that term--is at the vet for a dental cleaning. As we just returned from leaving our Teddy there with a dental abscess (!), the commonality of this community is both striking and comforting. Hugs to you and yours, kc, if you read this. :)

And to you, too, Barb. Enough of this. There's plenty of beauty in this world, as your photo eloquently illustrates.

Junebug613 said...

Hooray for no cavities! You ard doing a fantastic job on those flowers!
On your comment  "It is to your credit that you have always been welcoming and friendly to me and I salute you for that." I believe that you reap what you sew. And you always are fun, kind, generous and classy. You make us feel like we are all close friends, rather than just readers from all over the country (or world). So, take some credit for yourself and bringing all of us together!

quiltzyx said...

Ooooh! What a gorgeous flower!
And hooray for your greenhouse taking care of your herbs - more yummy food from your kitchen!

Lynda Halliger Otvos (Lynda M O) said...

I missed all the excitement. Bummer. Anonymity oughtn't be hidden behind or/and used as a cover for nastiness. Folks with nothing nice or neutral to say should say nothing. Hell, my Grandma Tiffany taught us that more than half a century ago-why do we forget the lessons we learned in Kindergarten when we have a keyboard to bang out our frustrations !~! Thanks for the gorgeous flower picture with which to end my well-lived day. Good night; may Wednesday have calm oases amidst its storms.

Michele said...

Wow what a fire storm it has been lately for you and for that I am so sorry. I don't understand why some people can and are so hateful at times. You are a better person then they are for not stooping to their level.

Teresa in Music City said...

Brava my friend!!! Well done as always :) And your flower is absolutely stunning!!! I usually refuse to use that word because of it's extreme overuse in the quilting world, but it truly fits your beautiful flower. I'm not a photographer, but I have to say I always enjoy your photos as much as your quilting :)