Lately, I haven't been following the plan at all. Still, I was creating the plan, printing out the recipes I made for dinner, taking it in with me when I met with my coach, and pretending I was following it to the letter. The longer this went on, the bigger the pretending got, and I started dreading my meetings with her.
Like most people, my weight fluctuates from day to day, but the trend is definitely down. When I got on the scale this morning, I'd lost 10 1/2 pounds since I started at the end of January. That's over one-third of my goal. Nevertheless, some days I went to my meetings with my coach to find I'd gained a pound. Some days, I'd lost two pounds, which just made that one pound weight gain even more disconcerting. Such close monitoring was stressing me out, and actually making me eat less healthy. I was starting to starve myself for the three days before my meeting with her, then binge on chocolate immediately afterward. Maybe this will sound familiar to some of you. Clearly, that is not a healthy way to lose weight.
So what am I going on about? Today I told my coach I was dropping out of the Curves Complete program. I want to keep exercising, and I want to keep watching my calorie intake. As for the rest of it, I'm not going to continue. It isn't helpful. It stresses me. It makes me not want to go to the exercise portion. It makes me feel silly when I'm pretending to follow a meal plan that I'm not following.
I've had a conversation going in my head for at least three weeks where I tell her I'm not going to continue. My arguments in favor of my position are all lined up. I dread said conversation because I don't want to engage in the back-and-forth with her. And then yesterday it hit me: I'm a grown up, for goodness sake. I can decide I don't want to do something, and I don't have to give any reasons. I realized that on this subject, my mind is completely closed, and I was prepared to rebutt any argument she might make with those words: "On this subject, my mind is completely closed." So I said it over and over again to myself in order to avoid stuttering.
This morning, I broke the news, and it was much easier than I thought it would be. I told her I was going to continue exercising, but that the rest of it was off the table. And that was all there was to it. Isn't it amazing how much harder we make things on ourselves? At least, I tend to do this. Maybe you don't. In any case, I'm breathing a big sigh of relief.
That doesn't mean my goals have changed. It just means I'm changing my way of getting there. Exercise. Watching what I eat. No monitoring. I can do that for myself, thank you very much.
So with that big hurdle cleared, I can enjoy the rest of my day. I'm meeting up with Quilting Babcia for our monthly guild meeting. It'll be my first time wearing my spiffy new name tag.
After that, I have nothing on my agenda. Dinner is in the crockpot. I'm still working on my doll quilt, and making some pretty good progress on that. When I get home, I might work on it some more. Other than that, I'm just going to enjoy my day and my freedom.
How's your Monday going? Any major hurdles cleared? Any hurdles you'd like to clear?
25 comments:
Now don't you just feel better with the decision.....stick to the exercise, it is working for you. And you are not the quitter you think, just honest. I like that.
Good for you! I see so much of myself in what you wrote... "I'm an adult" especially. If it's not making you happy that's reason enough!
I do WW online (would NEVER want to go a meeting)and it works for me. When I slip up I just keep at it but there are no "diet police". Each Monday is a fresh start!
Love your grown up decision. My Monday - car in for oil change only to discover more repair - luckily I have a service/warrenty and all work/parts covered - but it made for a 'dent' on my week.
Yeah for being a grown up!! (well, sometimes it does have it's perks!) I too am one who tends to over think things. I will hash out entire scenarios in my head. Sadly, most of the times, we stress ourselves out more than the situation at hand. Love the nametag! Hope the rest of your day is fantastic. I'm at work and it's truly been a Monday here. I'm afraid it will be a Monday again tomorrow with the way things are shaping up. Aack!
I tend to stress over stuff that doesn't matter to anyone but me. Just stick to your exercise routine and watch your portions and you'll do fine.
My Monday has been good. Putzed around outside, even though it was cloudy, and started quilting the doll quilt. Tonight is DWTS. Life is good.
We always makes things worse in our minds then the reality. I aways feel a little like Im failing rather then changing to fit my life. Good luck!
Wow! Good for you! I spent too much of my life trying to please all of the people all of the time and I know it can't be done -- especially if you're the teacher in a room of 30 students; how can I possibly please them all?
Keep up the good work!
As for my Monday, when I broke a needle on my sewing machine it was the last straw!
Brava!!! Taking responsibility for yourself and your personal needs, regardless of what someone else may think or expect - you pulled those big girl panties on with style this morning girlfriend :*)
I've seen this with my friend who joined a weightloss group in her area in England. She kept going on about her Monday weigh-in's for well over a year and I could just shake my head about the half pounds and 1 to 2 pounds that she gained or dropped each week. I tell you, I work in retail, which means I have a job where I stand all day, and I can gain 4 to 6 pounds a day just in water in my legs from being on my feet! The same goes around my period, I always have more water in my body then. In summer that is a problem because with the heat it just increases and that's why I once got water tablets from my doctor. And yes, I can pee down 6 pounds of water in a day just with one tablet, so that is why I think these weigh-in's are so ridiculously stupid. If they would do it once a month I could understand it, but my friend doesnt eat anything before she has to go on the scale and heaven forbid she didn't use the loo beforehand...and then afterwards as a reward she goes to have pizza...eeeek!
I tend to over think those conversations as well. I spent the day trying to draft an email note only to finally realize that I needed more information to really make any kind of statement about what needed to be done. So I picked up the phone and called, got his voice mail.
You'll do better keeping the weight off it you can turn your changes into a livable changes that you are willing to continue. It sounds like you are on the right path. Congrats on reaching 1/3 of your goal, that's absolutely awesome!
This sounds so much like me, I stress over the imagined encounter and it always turns out to be no big thing. I can't tell you why we do this to ourselves but I can tell you that as I've gotten older I have given myself more permission to know who I am and what I can and can not do. And that is that - end of discussion. So liberating. It's only taken 66 years lol!
Good for you!!!!! My mom is dealing with the same issues at Jenny Craig. She tells me every week that she dreads going to the meeting. It drags her down instead of builds her up, especially on days with a half lb. Gain instead of loss. If it wasn't working then you aren't a quitter.
Something like that is always harder in your mind than in reality! I am glad you made the decision to stop pretending even to yourself!
Nan
Ahh looking at your pics I can see it was you who run off with my large chocolate bar. The deal is easy exercise without eating extras to what you were having and you lose weight. You feel better because you're following your own eating plan and you're not putting yourself in the position of being told off for not losing weight. A win win situation and you're in control. So your title should be 'I take control!
Good for you for taking the lead in your diet/food. Why waste the time and (probably) money if it's not working. I think sometimes a person has to find what fits. I follow a diabetic food plan (I might have mentioned this before). I eat lots of good food and am for the most part satisfied with it.
I sewed yesterday - raise the flag!!! Two heart-shaped potholders. I am sure you have seen them. Made my own bias tape too. They turned out cute. Our oldest is going to a wedding shower next weekend and I offered as she is giving her baking stuff..... Lime green and orange (have fav colors I guess) are the colors. Along with a little turquoise. They are sure bright and sassy looking.
Kittens are back with the original foster person. They hadn't pooped in days. Will get them back hopefully Wednesday.
Besides some sewing, what else did I do Monday? Worked out, had coffee at Starbucks with the Jazzercise gals (always fun), had $5 burgers at Applebees. What a deal on Mondays!
Have a good Tuesday and thanks again. Snow coming here!!! Can't (blankity blank) believe it!
Meg
Good for you! I can't believe you took it that far to pretend, but I get it. Now you're off that emotional roller coaster and smart enough to eat right.
Whew! Stress is the worst enemy when you're trying to diet. Stick with the exercise & quilting and you'll be much happier! I'm proud of you!
Amazing what we will put ourselves through....
Good for you. The point of the programme was to help you, not stress you out. You are on the right track.
We are here to encourage you and cheer you on. By the way, way to go on your loss so far. :)
You go, girl.
My situation has been similar. I stopped working on menus and printing them out weeks ago. I do weigh in once a week because I think their scale is more accurate than mine. I also get measured when it is time for that because I can see that my clothing is looser and I like to know the numbers. My coach and I do not go through the whole routine. I've known her for years and she knew when I started that I was not fond of the weekly conference. I am more conscious of what I eat and I've gotten used and snack recommendations so I usually stick with them, but dinner is my own decision. I am still losing, albeit more slowly, but I am in much better shape. For me exercise is the real key and I visit Curves to exercise 3 times a week )one of those days combines Zumba) and take a more intense exercise class 3 times a week with a teacher I love.
Some of the women at my Curves have been on the plan for a year and still faithfully attend their meeting with menu in hand. I'm happy if it works for them, bur it's not for me.
I do think Curves Complete helped me get serious about my health and jump started my weight loss which is a good thing. For now, I choose to be on my own.
it is so true, that even as adults we feel guilty for making our own decisions about ourselves... good for you on sticking with it :)
It's good to revamp our approaches periodically. Some strategies work for some people and not for others, or they work for us sometimes but not at other times. No sweat! Just move forward in the way that makes sense at that time for you. :D
You aren't 'quitting' trying to lose weight and get healthier, you are just 'changing' how you are doing it. A better way for you.
Cheryl beat me to the punch - you didn't quit, you just changed the way you figure your numbers, that's all. Good for you, taking charge...glad the convo went easier than you'd thought it might. I guess your coach realizes you're an adult (tho you couldn't always prove it by me) and decided YOU know what your limit is.
Today is Tuesday, but we got over a hurdle today - for quite some time, I've been fabric shopping for our trailer's lambriquins. I'm really not sure how that word is spelled, but all they are is really fancy valances, that go around all 3 sides of the windows. After about 6 different tries (involving 4 different stores), hubby has finally agreed that we will do it. And we even agreed on a fabric. Only trouble, I was going to just wrap the top box with the leaf print, and go with a solid, matching brown duck (duck fabric, not print!) on the vertical boxes....ehhh, no. "That just looks cheap." Sooooo, I had to compromise to get him engaged...I had to agree to two-toned top pieces, with cording accenting ALL of it. And around the top, just like what's currently there. AND, unwrapping the existing fabric, which I already know is stapled to the hilt! Oh my, what have I done! So, instead of about an hour for each window, we're going to spend probably 3-4 hours a piece. I'm sure that'll be worth it in the end, but when you consider there are 10 windows, that sure adds up!
Good for you! You're going to do what works for YOU.
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