The Perfect Quilt

Today I want to share something with you that changed my life in a positive way.  This might be a long post, so I hope you will bear with me while I get to the point.

When I learned to quilt, I took a class at our local community college taught by a kindly woman who had been quilting for years.  Her enthusiasm was infectious.  Our project was to be a nine patch and rail, and she first taught us to cut our fabric into strips using a rotary cutter.  While we were busy doing that, she sat on a stool and read an essay written by quilter Teri Christopherson of Black Mountain Quilts.  Teri has written some 24 books about quilting, one of them being Sweet Briar Rose, which contains Teri's essay.

If you've never heard of Teri, you can read an Interview with Teri Christopherson on Denise Russell's Pieced Brain blog.  She surely is a remarkable woman.

I grew up in a household where praise was rarely given, but criticism was applied liberally.  Without getting into too much family history, I'll just say that I learned to be highly self-critical in such an atmosphere.  Being self-critical makes it difficult to enjoy anything one does.  Nothing is ever good enough, no matter how hard one tries.  Further, one learns to be constantly on the lookout for the flaw, rather than looking for the positives in a creation.  I can't count how many potential pastimes were begun and discarded because my work was unsatisfactory to my own critical eye.  Quilting might have been one of those pastimes had it not been for Teri's essay.  It has been so important to me, that I have long wanted to share it with you.

Yesterday, I wrote to Teri and asked for her permission to publish her essay on my blog, and she graciously granted it.  So with all of that in mind, here is Teri's essay called The Perfect Quilt.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.  So that I don't slip back into my self-critical ways, I have a copy hanging next to my sewing machine as a reminder.

The Perfect Quilt

I have a confession to make...I'm a fast and sloppy quilter. It's just my personality to do things quickly and energetically.  Fortunately, years of quilting experience have given me the ability to sew quickly and accurately. I give myself a mental pat on the back whenever a large quilt comes out exactly to the 1/4-inch--and these days they usually do.

I'll tell you another secret...in college, I was a closet quilter. On weekends I'd go to the football games and eat pizza with my friends, then I'd rush back to my apartment to watch Georgia Bonesteel's quilting show on television. I'd pull out my first real quilting project, a blue and white Irish Chain, and sew to my heart's delight. And what my friends didn't know was that I usually enjoyed Georgie Bonesteel's lap quilting more than the football games or pizza!

Well, that first Irish Chain turned out far from perfect.  One side is definitely longer than the other.  And I couldn't find 100% cotton batting back then, so instead I used a strange bonded material found in a warehouse that was incredibly difficult to hand quilt through, resulting in widely spaced an uneven stitches. Nevertheless, after the hundreds of quilts I have made in the ensuing years (and, yes, I do mean hundreds), that Irish Chain remains my favorite and is displayed prominently on my newly decorated living room wall. It is far from perfect, but deeply loved.

I'm surprised whenever I teach a quilting class by how critical the students are of their own work. I hear endless wailing about corners that don't match and stitches that are uneven. "Relax," I encourage them. "You're supposed to be having fun here! The more you quilt, the better you'll get. If you get hung up on every imperfection, you'll lose the joy in quilting and give it up. And then, ironically, you'll never become a perfect quilter."

Instead, I recommend my own fast and "less than perfect' method. Sew a lot and enjoy every minute. Then, by golly, one day you'll make a perfect quilt without even realizing it, and then you'll know that you weren't just having fun all those years, you were actually perfecting your skills.

Quilting is a lot like parenting. It's easy to get hung up about the details, wondering endlessly if you're doing it "right". Is your kid perfect? Is your neighbor's kid more perfect?

Nine years ago, my husband and I brought home our first baby, beautiful Kelsi.  She was sweet, cuddly, and apparently perfect. It wasn't until she was one that we realized she wasn't. She didn't sit up or crawl. It took another year before we discovered that Kelsi was born with a rare form of severe mental retardation called Angelman Syndrome. She didn't learn to walk until she was four and still doesn't speak or understand words--probably never will.

But we learned long ago that the value of Kelsi's life will not be measured in how fast she runs or whether or not she ever learns to drink from a cup. She is cheerful, loving and affectionate, and brings immeasurable joy into our home with her bright smile and nonstop hugs and giggles. What a blessing to have this sweet spirit in our home! Less than perfect, yes. And yet, somehow perfect. We adore her.

Two more children have since joined our family, healthy and normal, and one more on the way, due this summer. But in this family, no child is valued more than the other, certainly not because of natural talent or skills acquired. Each has value as a child of God and a child of ours.

What is the perfect quilt? Is it traditional or modern? Pieced work or applique? Pastel or bright? Are the seam allowances a perfect 1/4 inch? Are the quilting stitches small and even?

The next time a friend shows me a quilt, I hope she won't apologize for its imperfections. Because I can assure you that my own quilts are filled with them. Few--if any--of my quilts would ever win a competition. And yet they fill my life with tremendous joy and have, hopefully, inspired some other women along the way. One lesson I'm learning in life is that the perfect quilt, like the perfect child, is surely in the eyes of the beholder. 

~Teri Christopherson~ 

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Thanks to Teri and Kelsi, I persevered and completed the first of many quilts, shown here:

I can assure you that it is far from perfect.  Nevertheless, I hung it proudly in my sewing room for a couple of years until I replaced it with a newer model...also imperfect.  None of my quilts are perfect, but making them and giving them fills me with joy.  And isn't that the point?

In her return email, Teri shared this with me that  "Kelsi, is now 22 and still lives at home, brightening our lives with her innocent smiles. :-)"

As I told Teri, Kelsi's story is changing lives in a positive way.  Who among us could hope for a greater purpose?