Cat Patches: Good afternoon, Smitty. We understand you've had quite an exciting adventure this weekend.
Smitty: Yes, well, you know I'm always just playing for the team...just trying to do my best. You win some, you lose some. I just want to be a team player and give it my all.
Cat Patches: Er, yes. And I understand you did a little exploring this weekend.
Smitty: Well, I just finished reading Undaunted Courage about Purriweather Lewis, Pawmas Jeffurson, and William Clawrk, and I fancy myself something of an explorer myself.
So I was itching to get out of the trailer and do some exploring once we got there. I knew we were there because the trailer stopped moving, and I could hear my mom and dad talking outside. My mom always opens the door and so I waited just inside.
When my mom opened the door just a tiny crack, I pushed my nose right into the door and pushed my way out.
I ran down these stairs
and over toward this house and these little trees
where I pawsed to have a look around.
Cat Patches: You were quick getting out that door!
Smitty: Yep, my mom didn't even have time to react. I was way too quick for her.
Cat Patches: So what happened next?
Smitty: Well, here's where things went south a little. Outside were two Bad Woofies. Rough-housing Woofies who had no manners at all!
And I looked at them, and they looked at me, and I could see this was going to be a big purroblem.
Cat Patches: Wow! So what did you do then?
Smitty: Well, I looked off to my right and saw the woods, and I high-tailed it toward them.
Cat Patches: Where were the Bad Woofies then?
Smitty: As you might imagine, they were hot on my tail and I ran straight for that hole right there.
And once I got inside, I threw down some breadcrumbs (you can see the breadcrumbs if you look) and headed off for greener pastures.
Once inside, I thought about climbing a tree, but then decided against it. All the branches were so high!
Cat Patches: What did you do?
Smitty: I hid. I hid where no Bad Woofies could find me...and nobody else could find me either. And I could hear people yelling my name, and I could see my mom and dad, and lots of strangers, and everybody was calling my name.
Cat Patches: Then what happened?
Smitty: I was hiding so that nobody could find me, and I didn't make a sound. My mom and dad got some chairs, and they came into the woods and just sat in their chairs talking. Sometimes they called my name, and they shook my treat bag. But I'm too smart to fall for the old treat bag gag. Ha! So then they picked up their chairs and moved them somewhere else and talked and called my name, and they shook the treat bag. And this went on for three hours until it was starting to get dark.
Cat Patches: Oooooh, I'll bet that made your mom and dad nervous.
Smitty: Yes, I think my mom had purretty much given up hope of ever seeing me again.
Cat Patches: So what happened next?
Smitty: Well, Greg got this wise idea to have his border collie mix Woofie, Spot, have a go at finding me. Earlier reports of this story identified Spot as an Australian Shepherd, but actually, he's a border collie mix. It seems this very same thing happened with a different cat the day before, and so Spot already had experience tracking kitties. So my dad gave Spot my blanket to sniff, and they put him on a leash and let him have a go at finding me. This Woofie here...this is Wes...a very rude and impurrtinent Woofie if you ask me. Bad Wes! Bad Woofie!
This next Woofie here, this is Spot, who turned out to be the hero of the story, but he is still a Bad Woofie! Bad Spot! Bad Woofie!
Cat Patches: There is a rumor going around that Spot caught your scent and drew Greg on a rather zig-zag course through the woods, but quickly settled on a single place where Greg could see you peering out. Is that right?
Smitty: Well, yes. I'll admit that when folks stopped looking and calling, I figured I'd put on my Purriweather Lewis shoes and hat and do some exploration while I had a chance. When Spot found me I was at the place where that "X" is. Then Spot flushed me out, and I ran straight up that tree you see there.
I ran really, really, really high. Way up on this purrch right here.
I had an excellent view of the surrounding countryside, and so I took out my spy glass--a replica of the one Purriweather Lewis had on his journey--and I had a good look around.
Cat Patches: How did you get down?
Smitty: Well, my dad went and got a ladder. My dad has lots of experience getting cats down out of trees.
Once we were down, I stuck to my dad like velcro. He carried me up this hill...
all along the back of the house
and around this corner. I was getting purrty nervous about now because this is where I first encountered those Bad Woofies! Bad Spot! Bad Wes! Bad Woofies!
Finally, my dad shoved me through the secret Ninja door on the larger trailer door, and I was back at home. Safe from the prying eyes, snapping jaws, and big teeth of the Bad Woofies.
I've never been so thankful to be back with my toys, my scratching post, and my feather boa on a stick.
Cat Patches: Oh boy, I'll just bet you were glad to be back inside.
Smitty: Yes, and feather boa and I had some special time before I had some kitty treats and took a good long nap.
Cat Patches: What advice do you have for the other kitties who might be reading and who might have a yen to explore new vistas?
Smitty: Well...to tell the truth, I don't think I'm cut out to be a rugged explorer. I kind of like the comfurrts of home. I think I'll leave the westward kitty expansion to others and do all of my exploring from the warmth and comfurrt of my Catio from now on.
Besides, my mom says she can't take that kind of excitement.
Cat Patches: Was your mom glad to see you?
Smitty: Well, yes, it was kind of empurrasing. She picked me up and snuggled and cuddled. She said she didn't know whether to kiss me or kill me, but then she started loving me all over, and I was kind of like, "Geez Mom! I have a reputation to purrtect."
But then she put me down, and everything went back to the way it was supposed to.
Cat Patches: Do you think you'll ever be that quick out of the trailer door again?
Smitty: Well, not until I furrget about this experience. Fur now, I know to look before I leap.